I am sitting here at my desk in total awe today. I cannot believe that it is October 30th...less than four weeks before Thanksgiving and less than eight weeks until Christmas! Where has the year gone? Where has the decade gone? It seems like just last week, I was celebrating my 40th birthday with friends and family; but exactly 13 months from today, I will be celebrating my 50th!! Dear Lord! How the hell did that happen?
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I am not afraid of getting older, so don't take this blog the wrong way. I love my life and I look to the future with great hope and excitement for what spirit has in store for me. And when I come to the end, I want to look back with joy, gratitude, and maybe even a little pride for every moment. I haven't been perfect and there are a lot of things in my past that I wish I could take back, but they are also a reminder for me as to how far I've come and the direction my life is taking now.
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I heard this week of a former co-worker, Margot Berry, that passed away suddenly on Monday evening. I am sending loving thoughts to her family and friends today. The funeral is at 3pm this afternoon and I'm unable to attend. Just another reminder of how fleeting and short life really is...so, we should spend our time wisely.
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I am going through this phase at the moment where I find something that I want to study (hypnosis, for example), and I just start taking classes towards it. Either online or in person. I have taken 4 classes in hypnosis and have become a certified hypnotist with other certifications in past life regression and smoking cessation. My current project is taking classes in Reiki healing. I find it peaceful and relaxing and I want to become a practitioner. SO many things going on in my spiritual development...many of which I think you would find a little odd, but that's ok I guess. I find a lot of spiritual beliefs odd...I guess mine are less mainstream, but still no crazier than the notion of an omnipotent power that uses human beings as pawns in epic battle against good and evil that will result in the eventual apocalypse and global rule by an evil anti-Christ. Go figure!
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A quick update on life in general...I LOVE LOVE LOVE my job. I have a great boss and the work is challenging, though I do struggle with some of the personalities I work with. James and I are still in wedded bliss and continue to fight the good fight for marriage equality for all gays and lesbians. Prop 8 will die...it's just a matter of time. I am lighting candles and sending prayers that Question 1 in Maine will not survive the election next Tuesday as well. God is already opening hearts and minds across the country against this insane notion that gays and lesbians deserve less than equal treatment in the eyes of the government. I also pray for myself every day that I can let go of the hurt and bitterness towards those who vote for these hateful initiatives. Sorry if you disagree, but it impacts my every day life and is not based some antiquated religious beliefs that serve no purpose in a secular law. See? There goes that bitterness again...I still have a lot of praying to do.
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Nearly one year after that divisive and hateful election that stripped marriage rights away from my gay brothers and sisters in California, if I could wish anything on those folks who voted for Prop 8 it would be that they one day have to sit in front of a television to see if the Supreme Court decided to dissolve their marriages against their will. I really wish that those folks could feel that pain because I guarantee it would put compassion in their hearts.
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I have been told recently by a good African-American friend that I don't really know what it feels like to be discriminated against because I'm white...and I can hide the fact that I'm gay, but black folks can't hide the fact that they're black. I don't think hiding the truth is every a good idea. Living a life in secret and shame is not a healthy way to live; to which my failed suicide attempt in 1991 is a testament.
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Sorry...I didn't sit down during this lunch break to wax poetic and spew forth platitudes about gay rights. I sat down here to tell you all that I love you. Sincerely, I do...I see the spark of divine in every person I meet. Sometimes I have to look a little bit deeper to see it, but I always find it in some way. Even the most villanous heart has a spark of the divine buried somewhere deep inside. And I am making it my goal to see that spark in every single person I see on a daily basis.
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Sharing another pic from the Santa Monica pier where I went to the spiritual conference on October 16th, 17th and 18th!
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Blessings and light to you on this glorious day!
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Ray
