"I release the burdens that I carry for other people; so they may grow and learn their own life lessons."

I release the burdens that I carry for other people; so they may grow and learn their own life lessons.

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There is an old saying that God never gives us more than we can carry. There is also another saying that speaks to “biting off more than we can chew.” We are each given divine free will and it’s that free will that often gets us in trouble. God has promised us strength to carry our own burdens, but often times we take on the burdens of others under the guise of “helping them out” or because we basically feel sorry for them and do it out of guilt. When we take on other people’s problems, we sometimes lose the ability to carry our own because the weight is too much.  Our own challenges or burdens hold important life lessons for us and if we fail, then we usually fail to learn the lesson.

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There are times when we should be truly a Good Samaritan and help those who are in need. There are also very powerful life lessons we can learn from those experiences; however, there are many other times when we need to step away and let others learn to care for themselves. I’ve learned this lesson harshly in my own life and I’ve had to step back from taking care of people who refuse to take responsibility for themselves or their own actions.

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These may sound like common sense, but here are a few things that are worth considering with certain relationships in your life:

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1. Never loan anyone money unless you can afford to lose it. If you decide to loan it, consider it a gift and let it go. If it comes back to you, then it’s a blessing. And quite frankly, some people need to learn to manage money. Saying “No” might just create the right situation for them to learn that lesson.
2. Certainly, this is only reserved for those who abuse your relationship, but learn to say “No” when committing to a favor may cause unnecessary hardship for yourself. This is especially true for those people in our lives who constantly ask us to pick up their dry cleaning, or something they forgot at the market, or anything else that is a constant annoyance for you. Why should your pain be any less important than the pain of the person asking the favor? If they forgot their dry cleaning, let them do without. They probably won’t forget it again if it was important enough in the first place. Create the right balance in your life and perhaps by saying “No” to someone who constantly abuses you to run their errands or do their chores will teach them time management and organizational skills.
3. If a person in your life is constantly sending out negative energy by whining and complaining about situations in their life, then perhaps it’s time you tell them to stop whining and do something about it. Being around a negative person siphons our energies and drains us emotionally, spiritually, and physically. You might want to tell them that you’re tired of them dragging you down. Misery loves company, but we are free to say “NO!” to the invitation to join them. I know people who can walk into a room full of people and make everyone else uncomfortable or depressed without saying a word. Avoid them and keep your positive energy flowing…and in some situations, it may be necessary to end a friendship because it is simply too unhealthy.

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Now, there are times we’re dealt situations such as a sick relative in which we become a primary caregiver or a decision maker for someone who is incapacitated and unable to care for him or her self…and this type of scenario is a different matter altogether. Many times, these are life lessons that build incredibly positive karma for us when we have to put our own needs and desires aside to care for these folks. And it’s in these situations that we might feel cheated or even resentful towards the person or persons we have to care for…but I believe that we should look at it as a place of honor. God has trusted the lives of these friends or family members to us and it’s a position of reverence. Even the Bible says that there is no greater love than that of someone who would lay down his life for a friend. Taking that a step further…subordinating our own desires and putting our life on hold to care for another who is truly in need is nothing short of saint-like as long as we do it with a positive attitude and a loving heart.

 

May this blog find you happy, healthy, and blessed!

Ray