I chose this affirmation today because I’m at that age when it’s really important to have all of your affairs in order. When we are young, I dare say that most of us believe death will never come. We live our lives carefree and innocent; as if we will never grow old and never die. We don’t seem to have a concept of what death is. Perhaps it's ignorance…because we are so sheltered from the realities of life by our parents or caregivers…or perhaps it's because we have a fresher connection on a subconscious level of our lives in spirit before coming into this physical life.
.
The optimist in me chooses the latter.
.
As we grow up and see our parents and grandparents grow older and feebler with age, it starts to hit home that this existence is temporary. I was 11 years old when my great-grandfather passed, but I didn’t understand the concept of death and I wasn’t allowed to go to the funeral. I don’t recall my parents really discussing what happened with me or my siblings nor do I recall being overly upset. My great-grandfather was exceptionally hard of hearing and a bit on the crotchety side as an old man. I loved him dearly, but I was afraid of him and kept my distance for the most part.
.
I was 22 years old when my grandmother passed very suddenly. I was living in Atlanta at the time and I recall that I had fallen asleep on my couch watching TV that evening. I was in that place between asleep and awake when the phone rang. I picked it up knowing full well that it was my mother and also knowing that my grandmother had passed. She had just come to say goodbye to me in a dream. It was no surprise at all and I was completely at peace with it until I got home for the funeral and that's when I fell apart. I had never been that close this grandmother or this side of the family at all. She had always been old and frail…a bit on the whiny side because she felt no one ever did anything for her or came to visit her…when the truth was that we didn’t like to visit because she was mostly negative when we went there. Don’t get me wrong…I’m not speaking ill of the dead and I loved her just as much as I loved my other grandparents. It’s just that her personality was different and she was harder to get to know as a child.
.
At any rate, when I got home for the funeral, I was devastated. I had a lot of guilt that I hadn’t seen her in a while nor had I called her. I wished that I had told her “I love you” one more time before she had passed and that I had made time to visit more often. As a young person, we often don’t think about these things until it’s too late…and then we tend to beat ourselves up for it after the fact. We also look at death with a great deal of fear because the concept is so foreign to us and the finality of it is overwhelming.
.
Now that I’m approaching the big 50th birthday next year…and after the deaths of more friends and loved ones than I can count on all my fingers and toes…I look at death in a totally different manner. I look at it with a reverence…curiosity…even with awe and amazement. I know in my heart that physical death is not the end of spirit and we will go on. I’m not afraid of what’s after this life…perhaps a little afraid of the pain that’s sometimes associated with growing old and dying. But, I’m curious and I actually am looking forward to the experience just to know what’s next. Not any time soon, of course…but you know what I mean.
.
But even though we know that it’s coming, we still tend to put it out of our minds. I’m amazed at how people can be so surprised, shocked, or angry that death takes a loved one at any age and how unfair they feel it is. Death is the great equalizer. It’s probably the most unbiased thing that will happen to us in this life time. It does not discriminate with regard to race, sex, age, religion, sexual orientation, or even species. It comes to every living thing at one time or another. And yet, it always seems to take the majority of us by surprise as if for some reason, it might just pass us by…as if we and those we love have some special immunity to it.
.
So, my message here today is to live your life fully and completely on a daily basis. Love and cherish those around you each day as if you may never see them again. And remember that when you’re lying on your deathbed, you won’t be regretting that you didn’t spend more time in the office…you’ll likely be regretting not spending more time with those you love or not following your dreams. Find a way to make them happen.
.
The first step is to believe in yourself.
.
Blessings and light!
No comments:
Post a Comment