The last year of my fourth decade...

Tomorrow will usher in my 49th birthday and the beginning of my 50th year on this planet called Earth.

I'm hearing a lot of things from friends and family this weekend.  Some are telling me how great I look to be *gasp* almost 50 years old.  Others are telling me that I'm getting old and should start shopping for Depends.  One person couldn't believe that we have known each other nearly 40 years while a couple friends are telling me how difficult it's going to be emotionally for me to turn "half a century" old next year.

I beg to differ.

It seems that some folks use birthdays almost as a countdown towards death...as if each year means another step closer to the grave.  They are constantly reminded of the mortality of their physical existence and look at it as something that should be dreaded.  Most of the time they are able to keep those thoughts blocked out of their minds, but on birthdays, especially the '0' years, the thoughts rush back to them.

I've never had any emotional distress at the thought of getting older.  I do look at myself in the mirror on occasion and wish I were 50 pounds lighter and in better shape, but I know I can change those aspects of myself.  I've never cared much about how many years I have under my belt...just how much fat resides there.

Besides, it does no good to worry how old you are.  You can control many aspects of getting older by taking care of yourself, exercising, watching your food intake, etc.  But, you cannot control how old you are.  To me, death is a reminder that we should cherish each and every day in this physical existence...to tell those we care about how much we love them.  To patch up old friendships and put aside petty differences.  To look past political, cultural and religious differences to see the things we all have in common as human and spiritual beings.

Unfortunately, at some point we all buy in to the shallow and superficial world of material possessions, unrealistic body image given to us by Hollywood, and the belief that as we get older we no longer have anything of value to offer to this world.  Pop culture treats getting older as a curse...if we're not 19 and built like a Greek Olympian, then we are disposable.  Or if we do exist, it's as a caricature of a human being...a bitter stereotype who hates young people and has an unpleasant smell.  Older people in most television and movies are not revered for their wisdom and experience...they're portrayed as out of touch, ignorant, and stupid.  Only the young people can solve problems and make any positive contribution to society in these "harmless" fantasies created by network executives and marketed to capture the attention of their targeted demographics.  I'm sorry, but I just don't buy into it.

I think we are all valuable in this world.  I look at people who came before me as a window to a different time...such as my grandparents who talked to me about growing up during the depression and living through the rationing of World War II.  The amount of sacrifice that was required during these difficult times was incredible.  But then I look at folks today and people who think that sacrifice is going without Starbucks for a day.

At any rate, I have faith that the universe will unfold as it should.  I believe that when my time on this earth has ended, I'll move on to the next plane and reflect on these experiences.  I hope that at the end of my life, I will be able to say that I have grown spiritually and that I have given love to everyone around me.  I may disagree with folks about certain things or even sometimes sever relationships over irreconcilable differences....but I always try to love and forgive.  Being bitter or holding grudges against folks is not good for the soul...it's like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies from it.

Okay...sorry.  My automated "mindless babbling" alert just popped up!  I'll wrap this up for today.

Blessings and light to you all!