April showers bring May allergies...

Or something to that effect...I'm loving the on and off rain we're having this year.  It's making for an incredibly green spring, but we're also having high pollen counts here in the valley.  My allergies are kicking my butt!  But, I think it's worth it this year.

Life has been good, but full of challenges the past month.  First of all, I must share a little Ode to Odie.  On March 11th, James and I had to take our little guy into the vet due to respiratory distress.  There was nothing left we could do, so I stayed and held him while the vet put him down.  It broke my heart and still brings tears to my eyes when I think about it.  It was almost two years to the day after we had to do the same thing to our Lucy.  But, he's been to visit me a couple of times over the last few weeks.  I know it was the right thing and I'm glad he's not suffering any longer.

So, I also know that I'm late updating you guys on our web series.  I've been waiting on my partner in crime, Anne-Marie Trout, to finish up a couple of shows.  Well, she closed last weekend so things are starting up again.  I uploaded a song I may use in the project to YouTube last night.  I'm including the link here...but I wrote the song originally about 8 years ago for a musical I was working on.  It was for a character who was a very strict evangelical father to sing after he had driven his entire family away.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsZ2L6Xkd7o

Take a gander if you'd like...would love to get some feedback from people on it.  Especially if you know anything about arranging, or mixing/equalization.  I'm making a lot of this stuff up as I go!

Hope you have a blessed day!!

March Madness!

Wow...it's been a big ole pile of hectic, crazy, madness around the Brave-Fisher household the last couple of months.  I don't even know where to start.

I guess the biggest thing is that James' dad, Brad, passed away three weeks ago.  James is very close to his dad and this has been a difficult time for him.  We really appreciate your thoughts and prayers for him and his family.  It's been even more difficult because James is on workmans' comp from his job and hasn't worked in 2 weeks now.  He has a work-related injury to his arm and we're waiting for the doctor to clear him to go back.  So, he's been stuck at home alone with no normal routine to take his mind off things.

I went away on business to Reynosa, Mexico and Dallas, Texas for a week.  My boss and I were traveling together and it was a great trip; but, the timing was bad as it was the week after James' father passed.  It was unusual to have to get a work permit across the Mexican border to attend business meetings there...but I have to admit:  My boss is fun to travel with.  We had some great dinners and shared a lot of beers together.  Fun times!

Great doctor's visit in mid-February.  My blood work came back and my diabetes is well under control.  My A1C was 7.3 which is almost normal...it's down from 11.8 back in October.  My cholesterol was also way down from 254 to 132.  The only bad thing was my blood pressure was up...though, I was feeling pretty crappy that day.  But overall, everything was very positive on that visit.

James gave me a Wii for Christmas and I have been addicted ever since.  I play Wii tennis everyday for at least an hour.  It gets me off the couch and moving which has helped me lose 18 pounds.  I need some new games, so please let me know if you have one to recommend that you think I might enjoy.

I think I have found a new church to attend.  You folks who know me understand how important my spiritual development has become over the past few years.  Though I was raised Christian, my beliefs have evolved over the years dramatically...and I'm hoping this church in Auburn will help me find the path I'm looking for.  I think it has...my weekend in Santa Monica last October has given me a new outlook and I've met quite a few new friends with similar beliefs.

Of course, it seems everyone keeps pushing me to get back to my Christian upbringing.  Sorry, folks...though I respect everyone's beliefs, I just do not believe the Bible is the word of God.  It may have been inspired by God, but it's been basterdized over the years by pious hypocrites seeking to use it to usurp power and control over peoples' lives; and the message has been polluted by political and religious dogma that has nothing to do with God.  I don't believe in hell, but if I did...I'm certain that "Christians" like Jerry Falwell, Maggie Gallagher, and Fred Phelps will be burning in it for the pain and suffering they've caused millions of people.

So, I choose to believe that God loves us all and no one has a copyright on truth.  I don't have to look outside of myself to find God...God lives in my heart.  I don't have to look to a 2,000 year old book to find Him...because it was written by human beings no better or worse than me.  And I can have a connection just as meaningful and powerful as they had with the creator...I don't have to find a preacher or a guru who offers to be the connection to God for me and communicate to me what God's message is for my life.  I need a spiritual teacher who will help me make that connection on my own...totally eliminating the middle man and any translations that have to go through another human filter to get to me.  I know a lot of people will look at this and say it's a very egotistic viewpoint...I disagree.  It's an empowering belief...but still a humbling one to go directly before God and realize just how small I am in comparison; yet also how powerful because I am one of His children and therefore have a spark of the Divine in my heart.

After spending so many years in the Christian faith, I have simply found that most churches and preachers don't really know anything about God...they only know about telling others what to do.  It's all about power and money...and mostly about separation.  Separation from God because human beings are inherently sinful and therefore not even worthy of His love...and separation from others who don't believe the same because those people are evil and will not spend eternity in the kingdom.  None of it makes sense to me...especially that human beings can be condemned to burn for all eternity in hell for the sins of one lifetime by a loving and compassionate God?  No thanks...you can keep that belief.  It does not make sense to me.

I do believe in the divinity of Christ...though, I'm honestly not sure about this "dying for our sins" thing.  I have a hard time understanding why an all-knowing and all-powerful God requires a blood sacrifice for any reason.  In the old testament, He required an animal sacrifice...in the new testament, He required a human sacrifice.  It bugs me...along with a lot of other things I won't go into about the murder of children to free Israel from Egypt and when Joshua fought the battle at Jericho.  Oh...I guess I went into them.

See?  Religion does strange things to people...the worst thing I've found is how judgemental it makes us.  We constantly compare other people's actions and beliefs to our religious canon and make judgement calls on whether those people are worthy of our association or approval as a result.  Some religions even require that people who don't stand up to those comparisons be rejected, excommunicated, or even killed as a result.  That's a loving and compassionate religion for you!

I didn't mean to go on that tangent this morning.  Just something that's been on my mind lately...but it's too serious of a subject for a Friday!

James is heading out of town this weekend and I plan to spend some time with my dear friends, Andrea St. Clair and Jessica Larrick.  I'm cooking lasagna and having them over for drinks and movies on Saturday.

So, I'm sending lots of love and positive energies out to each of you today.  Remember that I love and appreciate each of you...without conditions or judgements.  Be blessed and be good to one another!

Lots of stuff happening...

Well, we're down to Mom and Aunt Sandra's last two days in California.  I'm taking Friday off to spend the day with them before they leave early on Saturday morning.  I have thoroughly enjoyed having them here, but I know they are ready to get back to North Carolina and see everyone there.  My cousin, Jeff, had a baby in December.  He's my Aunt Sandra's youngest child and this is his first baby, so she's dying to go home and get her "Grandma" on.  The baby's name is Camryn and she is gorgeous.

Baby Camryn Born 12/22/09

6 lbs. 14 oz. and 19 inches

Filming begins Saturday for my new web project.  I hope to have it edited and posted to YouTube by February 1st.  Watch this space for more info.  I've been recording music for it over the last week and the MP3's have been turning out fairly well.

Work has been busy the past two days with a huge project that is going live at the end of this month.  My real estate biz is moving right along as well.  Not a lot happening there, but I have changed brokers over the last month.  My new broker is Mark Henry at American Realty and Mortgage Corp in El Dorado Hills.  I'm also now able to off mortgage services as well as act as a realtor.  We offer both commercial and residential real estate services and I've also become a member of the national and local chapters of the Association of Realtors.

My friends, Dinesh and Karen Gonsalkorale, are coming to Sacramento on January 18th and I'm very excited to see them.  I will only get to see them during one evening, but I had hoped to follow them to Las Vegas that weekend.  Unfortunately, I just don't have the time or the money to do so right now.  So, I'll just have to enjoy my time with them while they're in town.

I've been following the federal challenge to prop 8 in the news.  It begins on January 11th and the judge in the case has said he will allow cameras in the courtroom and the video will be uploaded to YouTube.  I will probably be spending a lot of time viewing those files to see how that case is progressing.  It's going to be an interesting few weeks.  I found a great blog that posts up to date information about the case.  Check it out at http://prop8legalcommentary.blogspot.com/search/label/Perry%20et%20al%20v.%20Schwarzenegger%20et%20al. 

Hope your day is blessed!

Ray

Happy New Year!

Yes, it is 2010...how the hell did I live to be this old?  I'll never know!  HA!  So, this is the year we're supposed to make contact according to the Kubrick film.  I just hope it's a year I'll survive as I will turn 50 in November!  CRAP!

On a serious note, I had an incredible holiday this year.  Christmas and New Year's were extra special having my family with me.  It wasn't an overly commercialized year of buying extravagant gifts, but it was one filled a lot of love and laughter.  Just as they all should be.

So, here's my plans for 2010:

• Continue paying down debt and move into a "cash only" existence.  I'm tired of being in debt.  I no longer carry credit cards and will work to pay cash for any purchase that we make.  Part of this endeavor will be to build my real estate business and look for new promotional opportunities in my day job.
• Pray and meditate on a daily basis to continue my spiritual growth.  2009 was an intense year for me in that arena.
• Find a creative outlet to fit into my hectic schedule.  More to come on this in the next couple of weeks.  Filming begins this weekend on my new project.  The music was recorded over the holidays for the first 5 webisodes.
• Re-connect with friends and family.  I need to find more time to be social as I have lost touch with many friends since I gave up theater.  This is also due in part to the fact that many of my friends are constantly in rehearsals, so it's hard to mesh up with their schedule as well.  And honestly, I have accepted invites to parties and the like over the last year, but I tend to flake because I have so much on my plate and things pop up last minute.  So, if you're among those people I have flaked on, forgive me as I will try and be better about that in 2010.
• Finally but most importantly...I need to spend more time with my husband.  One of the reasons I gave up theater was because I wanted to put focus on my career and my relationship.  Now that James is working full time and working mostly nights and weekends, it is hard for us to find quality time. 

These are not necessarily resolutions for the New Year...but more like guidelines that have already been in place for some time.  I am just reminding myself of the path I put myself on and I need to stick to the plan to re-focus those efforts for the next year.

More info is forthcoming on my webseries in the next few weeks.  This is a joint writing effort between me and Anne-Marie Trout.  Hoping it will turn out well!  Stay tuned!

Much love to you all!

Ray