March Madness!

Wow...it's been a big ole pile of hectic, crazy, madness around the Brave-Fisher household the last couple of months.  I don't even know where to start.

I guess the biggest thing is that James' dad, Brad, passed away three weeks ago.  James is very close to his dad and this has been a difficult time for him.  We really appreciate your thoughts and prayers for him and his family.  It's been even more difficult because James is on workmans' comp from his job and hasn't worked in 2 weeks now.  He has a work-related injury to his arm and we're waiting for the doctor to clear him to go back.  So, he's been stuck at home alone with no normal routine to take his mind off things.

I went away on business to Reynosa, Mexico and Dallas, Texas for a week.  My boss and I were traveling together and it was a great trip; but, the timing was bad as it was the week after James' father passed.  It was unusual to have to get a work permit across the Mexican border to attend business meetings there...but I have to admit:  My boss is fun to travel with.  We had some great dinners and shared a lot of beers together.  Fun times!

Great doctor's visit in mid-February.  My blood work came back and my diabetes is well under control.  My A1C was 7.3 which is almost normal...it's down from 11.8 back in October.  My cholesterol was also way down from 254 to 132.  The only bad thing was my blood pressure was up...though, I was feeling pretty crappy that day.  But overall, everything was very positive on that visit.

James gave me a Wii for Christmas and I have been addicted ever since.  I play Wii tennis everyday for at least an hour.  It gets me off the couch and moving which has helped me lose 18 pounds.  I need some new games, so please let me know if you have one to recommend that you think I might enjoy.

I think I have found a new church to attend.  You folks who know me understand how important my spiritual development has become over the past few years.  Though I was raised Christian, my beliefs have evolved over the years dramatically...and I'm hoping this church in Auburn will help me find the path I'm looking for.  I think it has...my weekend in Santa Monica last October has given me a new outlook and I've met quite a few new friends with similar beliefs.

Of course, it seems everyone keeps pushing me to get back to my Christian upbringing.  Sorry, folks...though I respect everyone's beliefs, I just do not believe the Bible is the word of God.  It may have been inspired by God, but it's been basterdized over the years by pious hypocrites seeking to use it to usurp power and control over peoples' lives; and the message has been polluted by political and religious dogma that has nothing to do with God.  I don't believe in hell, but if I did...I'm certain that "Christians" like Jerry Falwell, Maggie Gallagher, and Fred Phelps will be burning in it for the pain and suffering they've caused millions of people.

So, I choose to believe that God loves us all and no one has a copyright on truth.  I don't have to look outside of myself to find God...God lives in my heart.  I don't have to look to a 2,000 year old book to find Him...because it was written by human beings no better or worse than me.  And I can have a connection just as meaningful and powerful as they had with the creator...I don't have to find a preacher or a guru who offers to be the connection to God for me and communicate to me what God's message is for my life.  I need a spiritual teacher who will help me make that connection on my own...totally eliminating the middle man and any translations that have to go through another human filter to get to me.  I know a lot of people will look at this and say it's a very egotistic viewpoint...I disagree.  It's an empowering belief...but still a humbling one to go directly before God and realize just how small I am in comparison; yet also how powerful because I am one of His children and therefore have a spark of the Divine in my heart.

After spending so many years in the Christian faith, I have simply found that most churches and preachers don't really know anything about God...they only know about telling others what to do.  It's all about power and money...and mostly about separation.  Separation from God because human beings are inherently sinful and therefore not even worthy of His love...and separation from others who don't believe the same because those people are evil and will not spend eternity in the kingdom.  None of it makes sense to me...especially that human beings can be condemned to burn for all eternity in hell for the sins of one lifetime by a loving and compassionate God?  No thanks...you can keep that belief.  It does not make sense to me.

I do believe in the divinity of Christ...though, I'm honestly not sure about this "dying for our sins" thing.  I have a hard time understanding why an all-knowing and all-powerful God requires a blood sacrifice for any reason.  In the old testament, He required an animal sacrifice...in the new testament, He required a human sacrifice.  It bugs me...along with a lot of other things I won't go into about the murder of children to free Israel from Egypt and when Joshua fought the battle at Jericho.  Oh...I guess I went into them.

See?  Religion does strange things to people...the worst thing I've found is how judgemental it makes us.  We constantly compare other people's actions and beliefs to our religious canon and make judgement calls on whether those people are worthy of our association or approval as a result.  Some religions even require that people who don't stand up to those comparisons be rejected, excommunicated, or even killed as a result.  That's a loving and compassionate religion for you!

I didn't mean to go on that tangent this morning.  Just something that's been on my mind lately...but it's too serious of a subject for a Friday!

James is heading out of town this weekend and I plan to spend some time with my dear friends, Andrea St. Clair and Jessica Larrick.  I'm cooking lasagna and having them over for drinks and movies on Saturday.

So, I'm sending lots of love and positive energies out to each of you today.  Remember that I love and appreciate each of you...without conditions or judgements.  Be blessed and be good to one another!