Christmas blues...

I sat down with a heavy sigh this evening after talking with my mother in North Carolina. This is the first holiday season without my Grandmother and all of her six remaining children seem to be going through a major depression. My mother hasn't had the spirit of Christmas at all...not even to decorate a tree or put up the usual holiday accoutrements this year. There won't be a big holiday bash will all the children and grandchildren this year for the first time in 45 years.

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Most of my early childhood memories (at least the best memories) are of Christmas eve at my grandparents home with all of my cousins and aunts and uncles...tons of food and presents under the tree for every person. I hadn't made the trip home for Christmas since 1987...I always went the week before or the week after to avoid the holiday rush. This year was going to be the first time in 17 years I made the trip home actually for Christmas day, but now it's not going to happen.

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We all went through some sort of holiday depression after my father died and after my grandfather died. But it seems to be worse this time around. The end of an era I guess. Oh well...life goes on and each year will be a bit easier and we'll gradually get back into some form of normalcy. My mom and her sister will be here in two weeks and I'm hoping the Mexico cruise and our Disneyland trip will bring some joy and laughter that we all need.

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I intend to make this Christmas the best it can be and spend it with people I love. I hope you all get to do the same! My grandmother and I were very close and I can proudly say that there was nothing left unsaid between us. I loved her and I called her at least twice a month to talk for sometimes hours at a time. It was a security blanket for me...knowing that no matter where I went in life, there was a part of me that was grounded just by knowing where I came from and that there are people that love me unconditionally.

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If there is any intent to this message other than to get some things off my mind, it is to stress that we should love and treasure those closest to us. Don't let life get in the way of spending time and appreciating those people. The holidays are the best time to slow down and show them how much you care just by sharing the time with them.

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Happy Holidays and may God bless each of you this season!