Tuesday, August 31, 2021

Been a way for quite a while...

Five years since my last blog entry, and I’m sitting here staring at the blinking cursor, not even sure where to begin.

Almost fourteen years ago, I walked into the pound and met this tiny, furious, terrified chihuahua mix who would end up changing my entire life. We named her Willow—Princess Willow Rosenberg Brave‑Fisher, because of course she needed a full royal title. She had this reddish‑brown fur that reminded me of Willow from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and the moment I saw her, she was in the corner of the pen barking at every dog who dared breathe in her direction. She was shaking so hard I could see it from across the room, and she wouldn’t look at anyone.

I knelt down beside the pen and whispered, “Everything’s going to be alright, little girl.” And somehow, against all odds, she believed me. She walked over, pressed her tiny head against the bars, and let me touch her. That was it. I was done for. Love at first sight isn’t just for movies.

I had to wait ten long days to bring her home. She had a microchip, and the shelter had to try to contact her previous owner. When they finally reached them, the owner said they didn’t want her back. She hadn’t been spayed, so that had to happen too. They estimated she was maybe 12 to 18 months old, and she weighed barely five pounds. I visited her every single day until I could take her home. By the time I finally did, she’d lost almost a pound from stress and not eating.

The day after she came home, she spiked a fever and started coughing up thick phlegm. Pneumonia. I sat up with her for two nights straight, listening to her tiny body struggle to breathe, praying she’d pull through. She did. She got stronger. She gained weight. She became this sturdy, confident little 14‑pound queen who ruled our house with absolute authority.

Eight years later, I was sitting up with her again—this time after she’d been mauled by a much bigger dog. Multiple surgeries. A body cast for four weeks. A recovery that felt endless. But she fought. She always fought.

For thirteen and a half years, she has been glued to me—my shadow, my camping buddy, my bedtime snuggler, my little heartbeat that sleeps pressed against my side every night. I’ve loved every dog I’ve ever had, but Willow… Willow is different. She’s woven into me.


And now she’s dying.

Liver cancer. We’re down to days, maybe hours, and I feel like I’m breaking open. I thought I could prepare myself. I really did. But there’s no preparing for this kind of goodbye.

I’ve lost so many people in my life—my dad, my mom, my brother, all my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends. I know what grief feels like. I know how it settles into your bones. But this one… this one is hitting differently. Maybe it’s the pandemic stress. Maybe it’s the timing. Maybe it’s just that she’s been my constant in a world that hasn’t felt steady for a long time.

She’s lying a few feet away from me right now, exhausted from last night’s emergency vet visit. Every time she lifts her head and looks at me, my heart cracks a little more. There’s pain in her eyes, and confusion, and trust. Always trust. And all I want is to make her better. To fix it. To trade places with her. But I can’t. And that helplessness is its own kind of grief.

I don’t know why I’m writing this except that I needed to put these feelings somewhere. I needed to say her name. I needed to honor this little soul who walked into my life shaking with fear and somehow became the bravest part of me.

I don’t know how to let her go. I just know I have to love her through it.



Friday, October 10, 2014

Today's blog brought to you by the number 27...

As in the total number of states that now allow same sex couples to marry.  What a difference a week makes.  On this past Sunday, the total was 19 plus the District of Columbia.  On Monday, the Supreme Court refused to hear circuit court appeals for states that had same sex marriage bans in their constitution;  effectively legalizing gay marriage in all 5 of those states AS WELL AS eventually allowing the practice in other states that fall under those circuit courts' jurisdiction.  Most legal experts say we should be up to 32-35 states by the end of the year.  To quote a cigarette commercial from the 70's, "We've come a long way baby!"

Equality rocks!


Thursday, June 12, 2014

Happy Sperm Donor Day!!

Yep...Father's Day is coming up on Sunday.  My godson and his mom plan to cook dinner for James and me at our house.  I'm looking forward to seeing them both.

Speaking of my godson, he graduated high school on June 3rd and I'm very proud of him!!
It was good to see him walk across that stage and get his diploma.  We may have him a job at my company soon so he can put some money aside for a new car and make some decisions about college.

James and I both bought new cars in the last two months.  He found a 2001 Chevy Impala with 60,000 miles on it.  It runs and looks great!  I bought a 2007 Lexus ES 350 and I fell in love with it.
It runs and drives like a dream!  It is definitely the nicest car I've ever owned.

Work is still crazy...honestly, too crazy.  But, it pays the bills and I am very thankful for the opportunities afforded to me here.

I am still playing for the Loomis First United Methodist Church and am thrilled to be a part of such a loving and warm congregation.  

We've been redecorating around the house.  James finally got his disability back pay and he promptly went out and bought new furniture for the living room.
I think he made great choices.  I was in North Carolina for Mom's 75th birthday when he sent me several pics of furniture in the store and we made the decision basically via text message.

I finally went to see Wicked with the lovely Anne-Marie Trout.  It was a wonderful show and I'm glad that I can scratch that off my 'to do' list before someone repossessed my gay card.
Of course, we had to take the obligatory selfie prior to the show.

More coming later.  Gotta run to choir rehearsal soon!

Ray

Thursday, February 27, 2014

The Walking Dead

That seems to describe me a lot lately.  I am eating much much healthier these days and have dropped a couple of pounds, but my schedule is so crazy that I don't seem to get enough sleep.  Don't get me wrong; I sleep a good 8 hours every night.  But, my days are jam packed from the time I hit my office at 6am until I leave...which is usually around 4 or 5pm these days.

The reason I'm so busy now is because I have taken over IT Program Management responsibilities for three sites in the US.  I was specific to Roseville, CA until December.  Now I'm covering Roseville, Dallas, TX, and Harrisburg, PA due to layoffs in mid-December.

So, between work and choir rehearsal on Thursday nights and Sunday services at Loomis First United Methodist Church, I don't have a great deal of time.  I love playing for the choir, so I don't want to give it up.  And there is a light at the end of the tunnel at work once we complete a couple of projects; however, it's a snail's pace to get there.

Enough of that crap.

I'm looking forward to surprising my mother for her 75th birthday in March.  I'm flying to my home state of North Carolina for 5 days.  I'll also be traveling back to Dallas (my third business trip there since December) to interview a couple of business analyst candidates sometime in March once we whittle down the list to do final interviews.

I did have an opportunity to go camping during Presidents' Day weekend this month.  I had a great time with my friend and fruit fly, Anne-Marie Trout.  It was a marvelous time back at Doran Beach.
Unfortunately, we ran across this poor guy on our first morning walk on the beach.  It was very sad.  We reported it to the park rangers, but they said they let nature take care of these things.

I was also introduced to moonshine soaked cherries on this trip.  All I can say is they pack quite a punch and I loved them.

And of course, my baby girl, Willow, and I got to bond a lot on this trip.  She has become so well-behaved on these little excursions and I love taking her a long.

Finally, I'm going to share a picture of my husband and me at Benihana's for my birthday in November.  I don't have a lot of pictures of us together because he is so introverted and rarely goes out with me anywhere.  But I love this one.

Sorry it's been so long since my last post.  I hope to be better about it this year.

Smooches and hugs!

Ray